Dealing With Antisocial Personality Disorder Child

 

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Children with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) often disregard and violate the rights of other children around them. As observed, they can be charming and fun to be around at times, but they usually exploit others and break the conventional rules for their own needs or wants. ASPD makes them act destructively without feeling guilty about their actions that can hurt other people. The disorder usually starts in childhood or adolescence and continue into adulthood. Continue reading “Dealing With Antisocial Personality Disorder Child” »

How To Help Bullies Through School Counseling

A person who bullies is a typical type of person who has low self-esteem and uses a defense mechanism of projection. In psychology, it refers to a kind of behavior wherein negative feelings are thrown or displaced on a less threatening object or person. Usually, the person has a little understanding of oneself and inability to communicate. They tend to cover up their weaknesses by putting up a “cool guy kick-ass” type of attitude that usually deviates from the usual norms of society.  “No one consciously chooses or enjoys being a victim. But we can claim our power.” says Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT.

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Despite our prejudice we have on bullieS, we should also take note that they are emotionally unstable. This may sound indifferent to some; nonetheless, there is a need to change our dealings with bullies. A lot of times, we find it hard to deal with them because we only focus on their rude behaviors and the victims that they bully.  “Bullies often target individuals who are perceived to be “different” in race, national origin, color, religion, appearance or gender expression.” says Rosalind S. Dorlen, PsyD. Continue reading “How To Help Bullies Through School Counseling” »

The Downside Of Being There For Your Kids Too Much

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People say that parents experience love at first sight all over again the first time they meet every child they produce. Some folks are afraid that they will not be able to give as much love to the second- or third-born as they have given to the firstborn, but that’s not true. It is only as if the more kids you have, the more your heart becomes fuller. This is the reason why a lot of moms and dads want to become hands-on parents.

Over the years, though, I have realized that there are a couple of downsides to being there for your children too much.

They Become Extremely Dependent On You

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We have a family friend who doted so much on her only daughter. When she was having a hard time with maths at school, they got her a private tutor. Since the girl said she gets tired after walking for five minutes to school, her parents would drive her there. At home, they would not assign chores to her — not even fixing her bed in the morning — because they wanted her to keep on studying. This routine went on until the daughter had to go to another state to attend a university there. That’s when my friend saw the fault in their parenting style.

Of course, whether you stay in the dormitory or have an apartment of your own, you have to clean after yourself. The girl, however, did not know how to do the laundry, fold her clothes, cook simple dishes, or even use a vacuum cleaner. Her place became too messy, and she begged for her parents to come to help her tidy things up. Since it was their doing, though, the mom and dad had no choice but to do that.

You Can’t Take A Break Even When The Kids Are Older

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Overly loved kids are not used to making decisions for themselves. They grew up with the idea that mommy or daddy would know what’s best for them. They perhaps allowed their parents to decide for everything, from what sports to play to what field of study to focus on. When the time comes that they want to stand on their own, because of that, things can get whacky. “Most importantly your children want to be seen and heard, so even though it may be difficult to hear them out without interrupting or finding counter arguments, it is the first step in the right direction,” says Dr. Viola Drancoli, PsyD, a clinical psychologist.

The same girl in the example above insisted that she could make decisions for herself after graduating from the university. She worked at a hotel for a year, and then she told her parents that her job’s too complicated and that she wants to find a new one. Hearing that their child is having a hard time, the mom and dad agreed to foot her bills at the apartment while she is looking for another job. One year after being at the new workplace, she said that her dream was to become a flight attendant. Despite being in the workforce for a couple of years, though, she did not think of saving money, she practically obliged her parents to support her financially again. If this job doesn’t stick still, there’s no doubt that the girl would pull the same trick, and her parents will never be able to take a break.

Final Thoughts

I know it is not easy to see your kids failing or getting hurt. Dea Dean, LMFT, states that while it may be difficult to acknowledge your child’s negative perception of you, especially when you never intended to cause harm, “listening without defending shows respect for the reality of your child’s experience and leads to resolution.” However, loving them too much increases your chances of raising spoiled brats. As you have already seen in the movies and TV shows, no one appreciates overprivileged individuals. You don’t want your children to end up being hated by their colleagues in the future, do you? Hence, you need to show a bit of tough love and let your children do things for themselves before it’s too late. According to Judith Belmont, a psychotherapist, “Parents need to be reminded that they did the best with the mental health and abilities they had at the time. Some parents remain a prisoner of their past and take too much responsibility for their kids’ problems.”

Therapist’s Advice In Helping Someone With Mental Illness

Mental illness is a condition that affects your life. “Mental health affects your heart, mental health effects your sleep. It’s all interconnected.” according to Tracy Cohn, professor of psychology at Radford University. It is one of the reasons why you tend to feel different most of the times. It is very complicated even to understand it as a whole. There are moments that no one can create an apparent assumption as to what is happening to you. With that, people, such as friends and family, try and do their best to make you feel better. But what if the situation is different? What if instead of you experiencing a psychological problem, someone dear to you gets to suffer from it? Will you be able to know what to do to assist them? Here is some of a therapist’s advice in helping those people in your life with mental health issues.

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Just Be A Good Friend

It doesn’t matter whether it is a close friend, relatives, or co-worker. Being a friend to these people in times of need is exceptional. By calling, texting, and checking they if they are okay will mean so much to them. “Sometimes the friends that need us most don’t reach out, feeling ashamed that they’re having a hard time. Don’t assume your friend will reach out if they need you, and make a point of checking on them,” says Alicia H. Clark, PsyD. You don’t necessarily have to do anything extreme or overboard only to let them know you care. You don’t need to remind them to take their medicines and attend their therapy session. Of course, they already know that. You don’t have to force your loved ones to do anything to allow themselves to feel better. A simple way of showing that your friends and family can count on you is more than enough. In some cases, just being there and listening to what they want to say means everything.

Let Them Feel Comfortable

You see, one of the biggest mistakes you may unnoticingly do when trying to help someone with mental illness is trying to assist them without their consent. Yes, you are concerned, and perhaps you want to do something to make them feel better. But if they are not asking and unwilling, it may create a gap. Understandably, your intentions are good, but that will not secure a healthy communication. Instead of being pushy, allow these people to feel comfortable with you. Give them time to open things up. Because even if you think they are stubborn and unwilling to get better, eventually they will crack and will need your help.

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Never Assume

It is vital to remember that every individual’s mental condition is different, and so as their needs. You cannot apply the same rule and method from one person to another. Everybody needs different attention, care, and assistance. According to Erika Wight, PsyD, “I believe that everyone is different. No treatment experience is exactly the same.” Everyone experience various depressive symptoms. Some may get super irritable, and some feel exhausted and sluggish. Just do your best to understand what they are going through. But if the situation is still challenging, learn to ask politely. Never assume that you know how these people feel so you won’t make a couple of wrong decision in trying to help them. Because you will never know what they are going through unless things are well-explained.

Educate Yourself   

When family or friends are going through depression, expect that their behavior is something you might be able to handle. That is because their way of thinking will more likely become different from the usual. You might complain and say that “they’re not the same person anymore.” But instead of thinking that way, you need to educate yourself about their condition. Avoid judging their actions just because you don’t find them responding to you. Know how they feel, and find out what makes them sad, angry, irritable, or whatever emotions they may have. That way, you can make the right adjustments that both you and your loved ones need.

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Help As Much As You Can

There are endless ways to help someone with mental health. There is no specific thing to do, aside from understanding the situation. Because when you know the right words to say, these people can feel comfortable.  When you educate yourself with different mental illnesses, you can identify the symptoms quickly. And when you do not assume to know how people think, you can be a great asset in for their recovery path. Every little thing you will do will become valued and appreciated. But always be mindful not to allow yourself become unprepared. You need to get ready for the emotional and mental altercation you might experience as well.

Your role as a friend, co-worker, and a family member means so much to those people who are mentally and emotionally unstable. So always make sure you give your best in helping them in whatever circumstances there may be.

When You’re Anxious And You Know It – What To Do

 

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When anxiety starts to creep in, you might feel baffled and unsure about what to do to make you feel better. “Your body could react to both stress and anxiety in similar ways, with mood swings, feelings of worthlessness, rapid heartbeat, and changes in appetite,” Aarti Gupta, PsyD, says. Instead of finding ways to alleviate yourself from being anxious, you might even add more anxiety than what you already have. You’ll tend to over-concentrate get caught up with all the what-ifs inside your head. But what if you’re in the middle of a crowd that you’re just starting to know or you’re at a great party where you’re crush is standing a few feet apart from you? How do you tell yourself to calm down and get rid of the anxiety right here right now?

A lot of questions will run through your mind that will make your armpits sweat, and your eyes feel hot and watery. What if I look pale and creepy? Will my knees wiggle if I attempt to walk towards him?

Your mind and body will be loaded with all the negativity that you can think of at the moment, and if you don’t try to get rid of it, it’ll consume you, and you’ll feel worse than ever.

Fortunately, there are several strategies that you can do to handle anxiety effectively. These are a collection of ways that were gathered from experts and individuals who have claimed to find these strategies work for them.

Reducing Your Anxious Symptoms Right Now

  • Acknowledge That You’re Anxious. Anxiety is a feeling, just like any other emotion that you feel when you’re worried or scared of something or someone. You can simply accept it, and that is the first step to reducing the anxious feeling. It doesn’t mean that you give in to it. You just accept and believe that it is a tolerable feeling that you can overcome. According to Asha Bauer, PsyD, “For those who experience significant anxiety, the idea of being mindful when in the middle of a panic attack may seem a little absurd, and there is good reason for this. When we become severely anxious, our brain goes offline as a means of protecting itself. This is why people sometimes don’t remember details of traumatic events or dissociate when overwhelmed.”
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  • Learn Deep Breathing. When you get the feeling that you’re anxious, take one deep breath, and then another, and another. Continue taking slow, deep breaths and notice how your heartbeat slows down and you feel calmer. The diaphragmatic breathing technique is very potent in reducing stress and anxiety, as it stimulates the body’s relaxation responses. The anxiety arises from the sympathetic nervous system and then goes to the parasympathetic nervous system by way of calming technique. You can try it by inhaling and counting 1 to 4, holding your breath for a few seconds, and then slowly breathing out to a count of 1 to 4.
  • Remember That Your Mind Is Tricking You. Psychiatrists are the professionals who can testify that a person’s brain can make you think that you are in the brink of death due to heart attack instead of just having a bout of panic attack. It’s because panic symptoms are similar to those having a heart attack. An experienced psychiatrist will comfort her patient and gently tell her that he is not dying and that her mind is only tricking her – that’s how powerful the mind can be. This almost always produces positive results, calming the patient and eliminating the panic attack. 
  • Create A Visualization That You Can Visit. Visualize yourself on a clean, flowing river or the clear blue sky. Then choose a favorite positive emotion that you can assign for each picture. Finally, just wait for the effect – the feeling of freedom from the anxiety and the happiness from the beautiful visions.
  • Try To Talk Positive Sense Into Yourself. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book, saying something good to yourself. For instance, convince yourself that you can get rid of the debilitating feeling that’s tagging along with your life right at this moment. You can say, “I feel bad because of my anxiety, but I’ll overcome this after a few minutes. I am armed with effective strategies.” 
  • Concentrate On Doing Worthwhile Activities. When you have anxiety, think about doing an activity that is goal-directed and worth doing – activities that you would be doing when you are not anxious. According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, “Science shows us that anxiety can stimulate a drive to do something with it. Because anxiety tends to be an uncomfortable physical state of restlessness and unused energy, channeling its energy into solutions immediately relieves it. Use anxiety’s energy to fuel productive action, and you will find yourself using anxiety to be your best self.” If you were planning to watch a movie, go ahead. If you were about to do the laundry, do it still. Don’t sit around and nurture your anxiety. You’ll feel much better if you do things that will help you forget about your negative feelings – plus, you’ll get things done.
Source: xleventsblog.com

Bottom Line

Anxiety is part of anyone’s life – whether you’re a kid or an adult. There’s always something to be worried or nervous about. But once you get to learn these simple yet effective strategies, you’ll cope better, and you’ll know how to get busy with promoting productivity and positivity.

 

 

 

 

 

Understanding Child Depression, Therapy and Treatment

Major depressive disorder among children is a disorder that could affect a child’s daily functioning. “Depression and its worst risk, suicide, are serious and common problems in children and teens. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in U.S. teens, resulting in more deaths than from cancer or any other disease or illness.”, according to Michael Shapiro, a child and adolescent psychiatrist. It’s a mental illness that can affect the way the child thinks about things, the way he thinks about himself, his moods, and even affect his daily activities such as sleeping and eating patterns. To understand the underpinnings of child depression, this article will tackle the cause of the disorder and possible treatment modalities such as undergoing therapy.

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Continue reading “Understanding Child Depression, Therapy and Treatment” »

Depression And Genetics: When It’s In The Family

 

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While your friend who’s going through a terrible divorce may feel a lot of devastating emotions that may stay for weeks or months, you may be sinking into a major depressive disorder – and family history may be able to explain why. “Depression is a disorder that develops from environmental and biological issues that are unique to each person.”, according to Deborah Serani, PsyD.

Perhaps your dad had it, or your sister, or your aunt. Seeing a family member go through depression can be really hard, but does it mean you, too, will suffer from it sooner or later?

Continue reading “Depression And Genetics: When It’s In The Family” »

Does Mental Illness Really Run In the Family?

I was very young when I first witnessed a cousin of mine having an episode of what I think was a neurosis.  He was tied in a bed and was struggling.  All I know at that time is that they can’t restrain him from aggressive outbursts.  His mom was crying, and grandma was taken aback by what was happening.

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That was not the first time actually, but that was the worst I have seen so far.  Years after, that cousin of mine committed suicide.  And he was not the only one in our family who did such.  Actually, my grandpa shot himself for reasons I don’t know.  My uncle (my dad’s bro) also took away his own life after his wife left him.

Now, that I’m experiencing some kind of depression, some curiosity arose in me.  Does mental illness run in our family? According to Mindia Gabichvadze, PsyD, “Other risk factors for depression include a personal or family history of mental health issues.”

 

Angry Outbursts

I first started to ask myself about it when my partner noticed how quickly I switch moodsAccording to Dana Harron, PsyD, “Sudden mood swings are common in people considering suicide, and may or may not relate to mental health issues such as bipolar disorder.” She wonders why I occasionally blow hot and cold.  Well, man can have his moods, too, but she sees mine as a bit exaggerated.  One moment, I’m so into this thing, and with reasons she doesn’t know, am not interested anymore.   If she insists, there goes my anger outbursts and aggressiveness.  And we will end up with a fight, sometimes serious, other times not quite.

 

Depression

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Then, I realized there are days when I would go into depression. Notably, at times when we didn’t end up on a good note, I would just stay in my room for days with the lights off.   I would avoid talking to friends and my parents.  I would refuse my parents even though I know they’re worried about me.  I was just there curled up in my bed, then would be down the floor, back to the bed again, then would stare out the window.  At times, I have these deep thoughts; other times, it seems I have nothing on my mind at all, just there thinking of nothing really.   But worse is when I would cry as I write notes on my walls, pages of notebooks, and even at the back of some photos. “The depressed person, due to the way brain operates in depression, become unable to see new solutions to problems, and they focus overly on negatives. They tend to ruminate on what is wrong in their lives, and such brooding increases mental ‘stuckness.'”, according to Margaret Wehrenberg, PsyD.

 

I Shared My Thoughts Once, And It Made Me Wanna Kill Myself

I was confused.  I had a flashback as if I was seeing my cousin yelling with his angry outbursts, imagining how my grandfather and uncle took away their own lives.  Have they passed on that craziness on me?

“Oh, it’s in my genes.” (Sobbing)

I shared my feelings on social media, and all I got are upsetting words.  Not even one comment sympathize or seems affected by what I posted in there.

“Hey, people, feel like I wanna kill myself.”  And the voice in my mind is nagging me to do it, “NOW.”

What should I do?

 

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With the negative comments I received, I drank until I passed out.  I woke up in the hospital.  My mom was crying beside me.  My wrist still a bit hurting.  I wasn’t aware I almost killed myself after I took some Quaalude, which I was able to get online days before and cut my wrist in the bathroom.

 

My Fears Confirmed!?

It frightened me so much.  I was terrified realizing I could have it.  I saw a psychiatrist who doesn’t want to conclude if its hereditary.  According to him, there could be a number of reasons behind my acts, not just the genes.

He is also thinking that I might just be engrossed with the idea of mental illness being passed on to me because of the things I witnessed when I was young.  I need to go through tests, observations, and therapy sessions to make a final conclusion.  I was given meds to calm my nerves when I have attacks.

For now, I feel a bit lost, but I’m trying to find myself.  I was confused but trying to be strong.

7 Ways Of Managing Childhood Depression

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Depression comes as black clouds in the sky during childhood, the most beautiful season in our lives. Clinical depression makes a child gloomy, aloof and takes away his innocence and simplicity.

One of the major reasons for childhood depression is the persistent feeling of, as Betterhelp says,  “no one cares”. Feeling deprived, ignored or unheard can make any child morose and develop negative thoughts. Persistent feelings of sadness and grief interfere with the normal functioning of children, making them inactive, aloof and low all the time. “Depression and its worst risk, suicide, are serious and common problems in children and teens. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in U.S. teens, resulting in more deaths than from cancer or any other disease or illness.”, according to Michael Shapiro, a child and adolescent psychiatrist.

 

The Causes

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There are several reasons why depression triggers in childhood. Especially in these changing times, multiple issues contribute to a child’s unhappiness.

  • Broken homes, parental divorce/separation, loss of a parent.
  • Unhealthy competition with siblings, friends.
  • The Harsh behavior of parent/s.
  • Being a victim of trauma (natural disasters, wars, abuse, etc.)
  • Getting bullied (at school or home).

“Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase.”, according to Deborah Serani, PsyD. It happens even to the most liveliest of kids, as soon as the above situations happen to them.

The warning signs

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  • Feelings of sadness and hopelessness persisting for over 2 weeks
  • Lack of energy in playing or doing activities the child used to enjoy do
  • Significant changes in appetite and sleep
  • Vocal outbursts or crying (even in petty matters)
  • Physical ailments that are not responding to treatments (such as stomach aches, headaches, muscle cramps)
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt with impaired thinking or concentration and experiencing fatigue
  • Thoughts of death or suicide
  • Remarkable changes in all social activities like sports, studies, social interactions, etc..
  • Poor academic performance and complete loss of interest in studies/school.

 

7 ways of managing childhood depression

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  1. Talk to your child – Children often fail to identify the real cause of depression. They would just feel sad and don’t know why. Parents, teachers, siblings or caregivers can take the first step by helping the child talk about how he/she feels. Talking out also makes the child feel important and understood.
  2. Visit the pediatrician – Childhood depression often comes up with physical ailments that become the focus of concern instead. A full exam by the doctor helps let you know better about the health conditions of your child that can cause depression like symptoms.
  3. Consult a therapist – It is always good to consult a child psychiatrist or a therapist if the symptoms persist. A professional guidance ensures a better solution. Usually, for moderate to severe depression, the treatment involves Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Short-term Family Therapy, and Supportive Counselling. For family or group therapy – According to psychotherapist Ali Miller, MFT, “Group therapy reduces isolation and alienation. It increases the sense that ‘we’re all in this together,’ and normalizes suffering.”
  4. Be cautious about your child’s nutrition – Be vigilant about your child’s diet. Always ensure that your child is getting a balanced and healthy diet with all the essential nutrients. See that he/she gets the optimum amount of sleep. It is important that they get daily physical activity. These have many positive effects on mood and provides nourishment for a healthy mind and body.
  5. Enjoy time together – Go for a walk, play games (see suggested ps4 games for kids or other activities for both parent and child), cook, watch funny movies, make some art and craft items. These will gently encourage positive emotions and moods and overcome depressive moods.
  6. Act with patience and kindness – When suffering from depression, kids often act grumpy and irritating. Try to be as calm as you can and let the child feel safe. Using harsh words does the worse.
  7. Build a positive relationship – A positive relationship with parents, siblings, and friends helps strengthen a child’s resilience against depression. It is very important for parents to become good friends with their children so that they can share their feelings freely.

Life cannot always be easy and comforting, not even in childhood. But with affection, love, and support from close ones, children can easily get over depression.

Reach out to your children, notice their behavior, stand in their shoes, be there anytime they need you.

As Pam Leo has rightly said, “Let’s raise children who won’t have to recover from their childhoods”.