My best friend called me last night, crying. Instead of her usual cheery greeting, she told me, “I think my husband does not love me anymore.”
Of course, my internal lioness instinct kicked in, so I immediately ask if her spouse was having an affair. Thankfully, my best friend was 100% sure that he was not seeing anyone else. That opinion of hers came from the fact that her husband had been spending eight to nine hours at work ever since the government allowed some offices to reopen.
“I barely see him daily. When I wake up, he’s already dressed and ready to leave. At night, he comes home for dinner but passes out early,” my best friend confided.
I had never been in her situation, so I was speechless at first. My husband was always busy with his business, too, but I never felt like I was at the bottom of his priorities. Hence, the only thing I could do was share three tips that got my marriage through quarantine and other curveballs in life.
Talk About Schedules
The first thing on your to-do list should be talking about schedules. Get a massive calendar where you and your husband can write your agendas on specific days. Then, go through the blank dates or those with the least tasks and plan how you can spend time together. Say, if you have one free afternoon, you may order lunch from your favorite restaurant or watch a movie at home. If an entire day is vacant, you can hike, ski, cycle, or do any activity that permits social distancing.
Knowing each other’s schedule is a must way before you end your home quarantine so that you won’t feel lost later. This information can give you an idea about how busy your husband is during a particular day and what you can or cannot expect from him then, and vice versa. That is the quickest way to dodge disappointments in the long run.
One thing that makes you miss someone you have isolated with for more than two months is the routine you have developed. For instance, while quarantining, your husband may have prepared everything you need to cook for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. When it comes to cleaning, you may have tackled every part of the house as a unit. However, after the quarantine, he may not be able to join you for breakfast, or you have been cleaning your entire home alone.
Letting all this take place cannot honestly be suitable for any marriage. You need to compromise with your spouse regarding chores or quality time so that your patience will not burn fast. Considering his schedule is often full, you can ask him to join you for at least one meal every day. If he can no longer help you tidy up the house on weekdays, you should set Saturday or Sunday as a cleaning day. Your husband will not argue with you about it, especially when he misses you badly.
Avoid Getting Angry
Feeling sad when your husband loses time for you does not make you an overbearing wife. Because of the quarantine, you may have gotten used to being around each other 24/7. When the stay-at-home order has been lifted, though, you only see him in the house at dinner.
Despite that, you should never resent your spouse for seeming to work double-time now. It is unlikely because he cannot stand your presence, especially if your love is unquestionable. It may only be due to the number of pending projects that he may need to deal with ASAP. After all, many things may ride on finishing those tasks, such as a new promotion, a raise in salary, etc.
Instead of entertaining adverse thoughts, you should follow the tips above. Good luck!